There's nothing glamorous about paying £5K to join the Mile High club
Once upon a time, air travel was pretty glam. Who hasn’t watched Airplane! and thought that even though the journey was disastrous, they quite liked the look of the huge seats, smart crockery, steak Dianes and luxurious vibe?
Back in the day, we unwashed masses would read about moguls and movie stars jetting off in order to have exotic adventures. Sometimes, the adventures would start before landing. For some young men and women, joining the Mile High club (becoming one of a small group of people who had been physically intimate with a partner in an aeroplane bathroom) was one of the most risque and sophisticated things you could do.
No amount of yoga can prepare you for sex in an aeroplane toilet.
In many ways, we’re lucky that we now all live in an age of taking air travel for granted. Obviously, there are environmental concerns, but it does mean that almost anyone who wants to can explore the world around them, no matter what their income.
But cheap air travel is not glamorous air travel, and as airlines squeeze more and more passengers on their planes, the champagne cocktails and steak Diane have been abandoned like forgotten luggage on a carousel.
As for the Mile High Club - well, no yoga class can prepare you adequately for arranging your limbs in those tiny bathrooms.
However, experience company Wish.co.uk is looking to change all that. It’s offering the amorously inclined a Mile High Package, which lets you get your leg over while you’re up in the air.
People who book the experience get to travel in a private plane for £4,999, with additional charges for extras like champagne. Even if it doesn’t entail queuing for the loo in economy, I don’t think there can be anything less sexy or romantic than hooking up with your partner whilst airborne. And if my boyfriend sprung the better part of five grand for this “luxury travel experience”, I’d probably dump them.
Why spend money on something you can do comfortably in a hotel room?
Also, people boast about being in the Mile High Club for two reasons. Either that they’re daring risk takers who delight in breaking the rules, or their relationships are powered by lust so intense that they just can’t wait until they’re through passport control.
The only thing that makes the experience anything like glamorous, old school airline travel is the hefty price tag. If you’re thinking of spending thousands of pounds on a lavish romantic gesture, the Mile High Experience won’t get you any brownie points. You’ll remember it forever, but for all the wrong reasons. Splash your cash on the holiday of a lifetime instead.